The beginning to an end of an era.

I'm just writing this shit.  No punctuation or corrections otherwise.  It's surplus to requirement.  In short, I feel sick.  Nothing, no action so far this summer has been what is necessary to sustain a Championship-level team for the foreseeable future; quite the opposite.

Malkin, Kunitz, Fleury, Letang.  Bylsma.  What would I have done?  Trade, keep until end of contract, compliance buy out, trade.  Fire after Game 3 of Islanders series.  What did Pittsburgh do?  Extend, extend, name as future starter, attempt to extend.  Extend.

No matter what, Dan Bylsma is the coach of the Penguins, which means that players will be misused, systems will be stark, and the playoffs will not go well.  His having won a Championship with Therrien's systems is probably the worst thing that could have happened with respect to the potential of the personnel 2009-2013 and now until 2016.  Losing to the Islanders, as we should have, would have been the best thing for this organization.  It really put into focus the hollowness of the desire to displace and avenge the 2012 loss to the Flyers, especially by the coaching staff.  After all of the talk, Pittsburgh was an overtime away from a game 7 with an 8th seed comprised of ill-developed high draft picks, journeymen, and waiver wire pick ups - half of whom did not want to be there.  Instead, we've extended the reasons for failure.  It amounts to a waste of 7 the first 11 years of Sidney Crosby's career.

I predict now that after losing in the first round next year, the synopsis will go something like this: "The team underwent significant changes.  Youth, inexperience, uhhhhhh... Anyway we did well in the regular season, we'll get 'em next year!  Any given Sunday!" That won't be any easier to take than: (regarding making it to the Eastern Finals) "There are 27 teams that would love to have traded places with us.  Any given Sunday!"  That's what they said this season after being swept as the top seed and holding a lead for 0:00 minutes with the best two players in the league on the roster.  Also something about LA winning as a low seed.  Not the "won with strategic defense and goaltending" part, just the "made the playoffs and won, Any Given Sunday!!!" part.

By the way, all of the talk regarding how much the trades for Murray, Morrow, and Iginla backfired don't seem to mention that no Penguin from the roster was removed.  Dan could have chosen from what he already had at any time.  Dan went old, he went out of position, and he went out of the playoffs for the fourth time in his four-and-a-half year NHL coaching career.

Kris Letang.  Where do I start?  His demand for a contract in excess of $7M is too high for the Penguins to field a decent roster otherwise?  His inability to be a scoring threat on the power play?  His multiple (like 8, man) gaffes that directly lead to goals against in these past playoffs?  That he was a third round pick and could, in a trade, command multiple first round picks?  How about the reports that he won't sign an 8 year extension if he doesn't get a verbal guarantee that he won't be traded before that contract takes effect next July, effectively re-negotiating his current deal?  That the Penguins are even receptive to this is unacceptable.

An uncommonly deep draft has come and gone whilst we apparently wait for that issue to be cleared up.  Next year's draft is average even at the high end.  Were the Penguins to trade Letang this season, he won't be a Norris finalist as sure as he was this year, and he won't be under contract for a year the way he would have been in 2013-14.  Letang is less valuable to an extreme in a trade tonight as opposed to this morning.  It's sickening to think that the reward for our patience is a Kris Letang cap hit of $7.250k with a limited no-move clause or a Kris Letang that will get his $8.5M in free agency next summer.  The Penguins lose in all events.

So, I'm put out.  Pittsburgh has chosen to go in the wrong direction in every instance.  I don't understand it.  The potential was there to really flourish with many young offensive players, on top of what we have, which is a lot of young defensive players and 2/3 members of two great scoring lines..  Then again...

In some ways I am pleased that we didn't add any impactful youth to the organization the way we could have this summer.  Youth is to Bylsma what the Glengarry leads were to Jack Lemon: like throwing it away.  We could have developed some fine stretch-passers and tip-inners, maybe even a big-bodied non-screener.  Tanner Glass is still under contract, which should serve as good reason to play him ahead of a rookie, even though a rookie played on the top line of the Stanley Cup Champions in Chicago.

So, no depth, no youth, no up-and-coming.  Just increased expense and more mediocre core play.

What does it mean that in 2014 Pittsburgh will have almost half of the projected salary cap committed to 8 players?  "Horace hath exposed those who spend themselves sewing here and there some cloth of gold on their sackcloth."

The calculus of ice hockey.

Hockey tactics are fascinating.  Trying to control the flow of a game as fast as NHL hockey means strategy in constant motion.  Some players make a career out of positioning while others play like a wild horse but have the talent to get away with it.  I'm interested in the synergy of the two.

It's hard to exaggerate the susceptibility of humans to illusion given the limitations of our anatomy.  This is how the neutral zone trap works.  It also happens to be how butterfly goaltending works, but I digress.  The above diagram of polar coordinates looks like the diagram for the trap (it does to me anyway).  Shepherding the puck carrier using a simple pincer attack with a second level of defensive pressure results in the loss of time and space, the inability to do anything attractive with the puck, and finally, panic.

The panic sets in as the naive puck carrier realizes that the boards he's being forced into aren't going anywhere and because of a phenomenon known as angular velocity.  Angular velocity in ice hockey can become linear velocity very, very fast.  The difference is this:  when watching an approaching train from afar, it appears to be moving very slowly (angular).  As it's passing you (linear), you realize that it's moving and has always been moving very fast.

The defending players are tasked with placing the attacking player in statistically poor portions of the ice.  This means eliminating passing lanes and skating lanes while in motion.  It means knowledge of using the blue line to keep the neutral zone as small-looking as possible.  The trapping players actually enjoy a good deal of flexibility when the team uses the speed neutralization of blue line.  It's brilliant to watch unless it's your team falling into the trap.

I'm going to put together a post to investigate offense, specifically optics and angles.  Until then, happy media day.

A few supplementary points.

Dan Bylsma's post-sweep commentary has been laughable.  Essentially he thinks that he didn't get to put the right 5 guys out on the power play too often.  This statement stands in contradiction to statements made by: Dan Bylsma.  Nothing about his structure failing to avoid being down 0-3 in the past 2 seasons to good teams.  There is sufficient evidence that the team that went to the 08 Finals and the 09 Championship team were a result of Michel Therrien's structure.  Dan didn't come in late in 2009 and change the system.  Now, 4 years later, Dan's personnel, tactics, and in-game performance speak for themselves.

I have a question: what do you think the last 4 post-2009 Stanley Cup playoff series would have looked like if the Penguins had Mike Babcock as their coach? Joel Quenneville?  Tom Renney?  Would you feel, as I do, that the Penguins were at a strategic disadvantage in every playoff series since 2008?  Like Mike Babcock, do you think Bylsma will be able to take a much younger roster and succeed in the playoffs next season?  I don't, and he won't.  We could very well waste a season's worth of development.

Finally, all the players love Dan.  Dan doesn't get angry.  Dan is all good with being called "Dan".  Dan doesn't make the players trap or take abuse in front of the net.  Of course the players love Dan.

Once again, a new identity of Penguin is necessary on the ice and on the bench.

Edit:  Rob Rossi suggesting that the Penguins may explore trading James Neal to retain 71, 58, and 29 for any reason has relieved me of my appetite.

Aftermath

Dan Bylsma is telling the media that M.A. Fleury is a franchise, #1 goalie... "our franchise's goalie".  I assume he's talking about the Penguins, which is and should be shocking.   Dan is a little lacking in credibility these days, for one.  As for Fleury, it's really rich to suggest anything except departure.  More on that later.

Is Dan Bylsma so good at some intangible aspect of coaching that incompetent strategy, bad starts, and suspect lineups are secondary?

Dan should have been relieved of his duties during the Islanders series (after game 3) and especially after being swept by a team that was a relatively large underdog.  The series losses under Bylsma, including two very recently which involved complete and total systemic collapse, are the result of the absence of the most simple core tactical strategies.  That is, in part, why it seems like Pittsburgh 'discovers' a new elite goalie every spring.  Setting a screen, for instance, never happened.  Then again, you have to have possession in the offensive zone for several seconds to set and make use of a screen, which Pittsburgh did not.  Let's just say, then, for the sake of exploration that Dan was putting simple tactics to use.  What if he sought to use a trap-breaking tactic like the hard-around to create offensive pressure and use shots from the point through a screen to try to generate second-chance opportunities.  Why weren't the players on board?  0 of 4 lines and 0 of 2 power play units.

The players are either respecting and carrying out the coach's inadequate strategy and as a result lost to a lower seed 4 seasons in a row, or, the players are wildly deviating from the coach's sensible strategy and lost to a lower seed 4 seasons in a row.  At all events, the coach should be extirpated, full stop.

That's why a team like the NY Islanders, composed of waiver pick-ups and marginally overachieved to finish .500 and in 8th spot in the East, gave the Penguins a true scare and would have lost if not for Tomas Vokoun coming to the rescue.  That is what the Dan Bylsma Penguins are; a team that comes out and loses to the 8th seed because they can implement and execute a simple wing lock and counterattack.

"Man, Roloson just played really well."  "Halak was the difference."  "Rask was playing out of his mind."  Why isn't Pittsburgh getting that kind of goaltending?  And why can't they? Why isn't Voloun, who is still under contract, the starter?  Why are we settling?  Marc Andre Fleury was picked first overall, put his time in at the minor league level, and was developed in a way that allowed him to grow up with a young team and learn how to win.  He's been to the Cup finals twice, has won the Stanley Cup, and earned gold at the Vancouver Olympics.

Fleury is 28 with a long term contract; he's highly seasoned and in the thick of his prime.  Why then is he putting up a .881 save percentage and something like a 3.15 GAA in the post-Stanley Cup playoffs?  Why is he so good at broadcasting to the other team that he's rattled?  The vulnerability is overwhelming.  There just really is not enough composure or competitive drive to keep his job, as we plainly saw last week.

Saying that your franchise is in a good position going forward with that as your goalie is saying that however good the defense and forwards are, there is a trap door.  Also, that statement is coming from an often over matched coach.  Bylsma coaching : a car that does not go in reverse.  Bylsma's tactics weren't worthy of the Islanders.  Boston?  His Penguins allowed a goal in the opening minute in 2 of 4 games.  His Penguins never lead the Bruins, ever.  Bad lines, disjointed play, and relying on the backup goalie points to what the painfully obvious series of changes need to be.  Go 2014 Pens.

Penguins Off-Season plan 2013.

One serious team played results in a sweep with no power play goals and combined score line of 12-2.  Here now the off season plan for the 2013 Pittsburgh Penguins.

Coaching:  Dan Bylsma, you're fired.  I cover why in a previous entry.  Available are Paul Maurice, Tortorella, Guy Boucher, and Lindy Ruff.  Potentially available is Dave Tippett, my #1 choice.  You know what?  There's no salary cap on coaching.  Tom Renney is Mike Babcock's assistant in Detroit.  If you can get Dave Tippett and Lindy Ruff, go for it, because the roster overhaul combined with the cumulative age of the team going way down means that the team needs a completely new identity if CONSOL Energy Center is going to inspire dread in other teams the way it was intended to.

Goaltending:  Marc-Andre Fleury lost his job after the 4th straight year of totally unacceptable play.  Pittsburgh has a compliance buyout if there are no takers in a trade.  I think having only two years left at a $5M cap hit is benefit that kept more than a few teams out of the hunt for Luongo last summer.  Next year's starter is Tomas Vokoun, who has 1 year remaining at $2M.  Backup can be literally anyone in the system; new signee Eric Hartzell in particular.  

Defense:  Paul Martin and Brooks Orpik have trade clauses in their contracts and they're very valuable to the future of the defense core.  Matt Niskanen has been underwhelming during his tenure, and with one season remaining at 2.3M, could be a bit contributor as a bottom six, although it wouldn't shock me if he was not on this team next season.  Pittsburgh has approximately 7 NHL caliber prospects and I'm positive it would be better served for one of them to get that NHL ice time instead.  Simon Despres is a top-four defenseman, and if he's proven not to be, we need to move along.  Equity, yo.  Deryk Engelland and Robert Bortuzzo will more than likely be back, whereas I doubt Mark Eaton and Douglas Murray will be offered new contracts.  

That leaves Kris Letang.  Is he going to be worth what he'll command on the open market to Pittsburgh?  What's with shooting the puck wide all the time?  Is he therefore good enough on the power play?  Is his overall mercurial play in the playoffs worth tying up the cap space?  What would he be worth in a trade as a Norris candidate with a year remaining on his contract at $3.5M?  The answer to the last question is something I would love to find out, because I don't think the answers to the other questions are good enough to warrant that kind of contract.  This upcoming draft is uncommonly deep and Letang was a 3rd round selection.  Sometimes you have to treat an asset like an asset, great hair or no.  Buy low, sell high.

Wings: James Neal is signed at $5M through 2018.  This is great news as he is the real deal.  Chris Kunitz has 1 year remaining at $3.725M and it seems like he was the most popular linemate on this team.  Beau Bennett is going to have 2 years remaining on his entry-level contract starting next season and he is a top-six wing.  These are the easy ones.

Harder are Dupuis, Cooke, and Kennedy.  Pascal is probably going to cash in somewhere as he well should.  I didn't begrudge Scuderi and I won't begrudge Pascal.  I feel like the time is right for Cookie to move along.  He's a valuable PK player and is always dialed into the game but at a cost of possibly incurring the violent, blind wrath of other teams.  Tyler Kennedy really got the shaft in the last few series in these playoffs and I would suspect isn't in the future plans of the Penguins, although he is a RFA this summer.  

Tanner Glass has a year left on his deal.  Yeah, we still have Tanner Glass, and no, no I don't think it matters what happens to him.  Did I say Tanner Glass?  I meant Steve MacIntyre.  Actually I meant both. 

Jarome Iginla and Brenden Morrow.  What can I say except that they didn't have very big impact when shit got serious, and I never imagined that that would be the case.  Iggy was very dangerous on our power play until of course he wasn't on the power play.  He got 1 game with Sid, won that game, and then was again misused; that doesn't excuse the inability to make plays and be consistently physical.  I don't think he waived his NTC to join Pittsburgh to play LW on a line with negative levels of chemistry, but that's a coaching critique.  Morrow finished as a 4th line player, Iginla a 3rd.  I do not expect either of them to be on the 2014 roster unless they are prepared to take a 50%+ pay cut for short term.  The idea that they have too much pride to accept that dollar amount sure wasn't evident in these playoffs.

Center:  Sid is signed until the Mahdi reveals himself.  He's the best player in the world and is the face of the NHL.  Hopefully he can stay healthy late into seasons and start the playoffs at full conditioning and weight, &c.  

Brandon Sutter had a pretty solid first playoff run.  He was on the ice for, I think, 2 even strength goals against and even scored one of our two goals in the Bruins series.  I'm pitifully drunk.  He has one year remaining on his entry level deal and I think Sutter will excel in a  more structured system.  I'm really counting on that system being installed if you haven't noticed.

Jussi Jokinen and Dustin Jeffrey were on the taxi squad and will compete for the same role of jack of all trades forward on the 2014 Pens.  JJ has 1 year remaining at 2.1M, DJ is a RFA who will probably seek arbitration.  

Much in this same way, Craig Adams and Joe Vitale are 4th line centers who do 4th line type shit.  Vitale is a UFA after next season; Adams is a UFA this summer.  I really like what Adams brings to the team in all its' facets as the NHLPA Rep and as a 2-time Champion.  He's an uncommon commodity and he had an excellent series against the Bruins.  

Thus brings us to the hardest decision, Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin.  His contract is up at the end of next season, and he has a No Move Clause that I think goes into effect July 1, 2013.  That means that before/at the draft on June 30, he could be traded for what I would expect to be an overwhelming trade package, especially given the rating of this year's draft class.  I think it will depend on his taste for a contract similar to that of Sid Crosby and the direction of the team.  Moving Fleury one way or another potentially frees up the cap space to resign Malkin and Letang to long term deals.  

I'm really on the fence about Geno.  His wingers this season were the stuff of pure folly and whimsical flights of fancy, yet he was futile and frustrated.  He's undisciplined.  He's been a big part of the Pens' lack of focus and conviction in the post-season.  Malkin (and Letang) in the Islanders' and then Bruins' series made so many ill-advised and ridiculously bad plays that did directly result in goals against that I'm open to the idea that we have already gotten the best out of them.  

Franchise centers are rare things.  Great teams of the past have typically had two centers that were outstanding.  We've been one of those teams since the 05 lockout; yet teams that have significantly less high end payers like Boston, Detroit, and Chicago have been more successful (or will be after this season).  The Crosby/Malkin/{Staal}/Letang/Fleury core, as young as it is, has underachieved in a pretty weak conference.  I think the rarity of a player like Malkin is the reason to trade him.  In fact, if Pittsburgh does the prudent thing when it comes to the coaching staff and the direction and identity of the team, the Penguins could be in a much stronger position in a season or two with the assets Malkin brings in.  Doubly so if the Penguins trade Letang at the height of his value.

I would suggest then at this point to trade Fleury or use one of the two compliance buy out clauses to extirpate his contract.  I would seek a trade before or at the NHL entry draft for Evgeni Malkin.  I would also seek a trade for Kris Letang.  At some point these players are assets owned by and controlled by the Penguins organization; I think the Penguins are in a rare position to liquidate for extreme value two very rare assets; at least as rare as the chance to compete for Lord Stanley that these players just threw away.  

Pittsburgh Penguins Postmortem 2013

For all their success this season, the Pittsburgh Penguins are an extremely inept hockey team.  

The system that the Penguins employ has 2 features;

1) Both D skate to the puck and make frequent use of reverse passes, 

2) Stretch passes to the offensive neutral zone.  Note that this is not the Torpedo system.  The Torpedo has nuance and positioning.

I'm not trying to be a cynical or cute, those are literally the only points of strategy Pittsburgh uses.  There is no neutral zone tactic and no offensive/defensive zone tactic.  Zero.  Also missing are multi-player face off tactics and a strategy for puck possession in the offensive zone.

Teams that cycle well do so by design, and that is why Pittsburgh does not cycle well.  They don't use picks, and the almost never screen.  I would have thought that playing Detroit twice in the Cup finals would have highlighted the value of screening goalies and setting picks.  Refusing to screen the goalie is probably the biggest factor in the successes of Roloson, Halak, Rask, &c.  Pittsburgh does not generally have a planned way to open passing lanes or shooting lanes. The opponent's goalie is a) able to see the shot, and b) not induced to move laterally, and is thus able to maintain angle to the crease, ideal depth, and relaxed stance.  What you get is what you've been seeing in this Boston series; very easy-to-manage shots with no rebounds and nobody there for those rebounds.  Save for occasionally Morrow.

The Bruins' unreal success rate in the face off dot is directly attributable to practiced, tested tactical set plays to gain possession or defend against quick opportunities.  In short, they tie up the Penguins' center and swarm the puck.  Pittsburgh does not.  

The neutral zone is by far the most important glaring absence as was obvious in the Islanders series, and most especially obvious with the Flyers last season.  Teams are more or less free to carry the puck at top speed through the neutral zone across the blue line.  The D back in to the circles (they are caught flat after a turnover pretty often, too).  Forwards tend to gravitate to the puck carrier as opposed to closing passing and shooting lanes (read: come to a stop).  The spacing is not anywhere near ideal as the forwards have to back check through the defensive neutral zone as the play is already developing in their defensive zone.  In short, not having a structural system leads to constant broken-ness of defensive play.  This further leverages the danger of turning the puck over.  As for the other team, the center drive is being executed at full speed.  Lateral passing is generally available, and there is space to take selective shots for far pad rebounds, &c.  

On the other hand, a little bit of system has gone a long way for recent opponents.  Tampa's 1-3-1, the ol' Montreal 1-2-2, the current Boston 2-man high, and the Islanders' simple front-stretch-pass-wing lock either defeated or almost defeated Pittsburgh.  I would like to feel as though our coaching staff could make adjustments, but in most cases there is nothing there to make an adjustment to.  That is why, hockey fans, our ridiculous video game team with the two best players in the league on it has (and has had) little or no function when faced with the most vanilla of neutral zone systems.  A team like Boston which has been polishing a very tidy trap game for years has eaten our lunch. 

There is a certain disdain in Pittsburgh to "being a trapping team".  New Jersey and Florida come to mind immediately as loathed scum; plankton who had to force the Penguins down to their level, &c.  There's also a myth that you shouldn't trap with a lot of talent, because it's "stifling".  Surely winning a certain way cannot come before actually winning?  The fact is that if your team cannot play multiple variations of the neutral zone trap, you're working at least twice as hard for the same ice and the same scoring opportunities.  You're giving up free ice.  You're far less likely to protect a lead.  You're not generating turnovers as much as you could (and with our forwards, short ice and potentially flat-footed defense would magnify the brilliance of the Penguins on the rush).  It's an unacceptable waste and an unacceptable way to lose playoff rounds.

Finally, and this is more splitting hairs about idiosyncratic things that I don't have good intel on,  what is the fucking deal with the lineup?  I'm way past trying to understand the Iggy LW Malkin experiment; I've hated it from the first few shifts.  No, what I want to know is this: what is the possible benefit of constantly changing the defense pairings?  I'm terribly interested because no other coaches do that.  Duncan Keith plays with Seabrook.  Chara with Seidenberg.  Lidstrom + Rafalski.  Neidermayer with Stevens, &c.  

If I was Ray Shero, I would have fired Dan Bylsma after Game 3 of the Islanders series and been on the phone with Lindy Ruff sharpish.  Lindy, Guy Boucher, Alain Vigneault, and Paul Maurice are unemployed NHL coaches.  However, since we bought ourselves the time, the man I want is Dave Tippett, who is in limbo out in Phoenix.  He is a masterful strategist without being so static as to see players in terms of round or square pegs and round holes, such as John Tortorella or Ken Hitchcock.  That would be ideal if Phoenix doesn't renew his contract. 

I may do an off-season plan post merely because it's cathartic to write about what essentially is a waste of a once-in-a-lifetime roster in the cap era.  Anyway, let's complete the sweep so it's easier to do the right thing and show Dan the inside of the Fort Pitt Tunnel one last time.  Go 2014 Pens. 

Why Pittsburgh should try to sign John Madden

If you have been a Pittsburgh hockey fan in the last 10 years, you hate John Madden for making dozens of truly special defensive plays against the Penguins whilst playing for the New Jersey Devils. Stains on the franchise such as the new jersey vs. New Jersey game October 9, 2000 where John Madden and Randy McKay both scored 4 goals en route to a 9-0 victory in Pittsburgh made us very, very happy when Madden took his Selke trophy to Chicago last season.

Now, fresh off of another Stanley Cup victory, Madden is a UFA on this the 5th day of July, 2010. Pittsburgh, as everyone knows, have so many centers that they have no business being anywhere near a UFA center. That, in part, is exactly why they need to try to sign Madden for ~1.5M for 1 year. It should stand to reason that as time goes by and a team's makeup changes, the pieces that you have which are proven commodities may need to be shuffled, re-strategized, and used in ways which are more effective for the success of the team.

I think a couple of recent examples are San Jose and Detroit, both for different reasons which could benefit the Penguins. In Detroit, they won the Stanley Cup in 2008 playing the team's best 2 forwards and Selke candidates together in Zetterberg and Datsyuk. They had good wingers in Holmstrom, Franzen, Samuelsson, and Hudler. The idea here is that the top line cannot be stopped, can play a ton of minutes, and the other lines aren't that hurt by lack of quality. When the team almost unexpectedly signed Marian Hossa, the coaches split those two up, and Val Filppula was made the third-line center. They came pretty close to winning again (Datsyuk missed a lot of the Stanley Cup Finals), but the situation changed so that the quality of wingers demanded more diversity of ice time and more quality at Center to maintain a puck-possession style through 3 lines. The fact that Zetterberg has played a lot of time at wing and at center makes the shape of the team that much more versatile and also sends a message to any other player that if Z plays where and how the coach says, so do you.

San Jose did the opposite. At one time they had a very good collection of forwards and 2 of the game's better centers in Marleau and Thornton. They were soundly beaten by Anaheim and management reacted by replacing most of the bottom-six forwards and adding even more high-end scoring via a trade, shedding flash in the pan winger Jonathan Cheechoo and a then-promising Milan Michalek in the process. I believe it was the first time a trade involving San Jose resulted in a German-born player coming rather than going. In any event, the staff moved Marleau to Wing and the result was an uncontrollable first line and more ice time for up-and-coming young NHLers. It didn't work because the top guys who play in San Jose are big chokers one and all, but they surely got the most out of their them.

Which brings us to Pittsburgh, 2010-2011 season. The big three center strategy won very, very big in 2009, and was good enough to reach the Stanley Cup Finals in 2008. At this point, we have Staal, Malkin, and Crosby signed long term, and nothing in terms of wingers prospect, prime, or veteran. Does that mean necessarily that the three listed centers are shackled to center? Do they have the pieces to ice a solid third line if they promote Jordan Staal to a top-six job? If they signed John Madden they do. They can bank on Malkin and Staal's chemistry. They can play Malkin, who is admittedly grotesquely atrocious at face-offs, at RW, giving Staal as much as 6 more minutes a game as the #2 center. They can do and try a lot of different things with the proven stability of a John Madden as the #3 center.

The last thing I want to address is the fact that the oldest Penguin (Johnson and Adams respectfully) at this point is 33. There are only 5, 6 at best, roster players 30 and older. I don't care who is on your hockey team, even the best and brightest young players need to have true vets to learn from and lean on when things aren't going well. The reason I have keyed in on Madden is that he can still play a vital on-ice role as well, and it would be fun to see him in a Penguins sweater.

Breaking fake News

It has just been discovered that longtime NHL waste of perfect NHL size and skill Dainius Zubrus has secretly, stoically been suffering for an undisclosed number of years from the dreaded Mariusz Czerkawski Syndrome. No further details have been released.

Kovalchuk tearing apart the Atlantic

Ilya Kovalchuk is an intriguing figure. I can't remember a UFA with the stats being available at his age. It has caused a ripple effect through the NHL, and especially his latest team, the New Jersey Devils.

If Kovalchuk wants to join his polar opposite fellow Russian Anton Volchenkov is New Jersey, they are going to need to make cap room available. Note that they can sign him and be over the cap to the tune of 10%, so they could sign Kovy and then figure out who is going to go. A couple of obvious players with prominent contracts are Dainius Zubrus, the only Lithuanian currently in the NHL, Brian Rolston, who's '35+' contract should scare off everyone short of Darryl Sutter, and franchise winger Patrik Elias.

I think its going to be Elias for a few reasons; one, nobody is going to take Rolston. The attempts to turn back the clock by returning to the Devils worked roughly as well as the year the Avalanche brought back Forsberg and Adam Foote. There are a lot of things that make a player untradeable, but the biggest red flag is the dreaded 35+ contract.

Zubrus is a bit of a mystery, always has been. He's a giant man with great hands and keeps himself in peak physical form. His numbers are those of a fringe top-six forward, but he is also the kind of player who can have an 8-point game. Very interesting for teams who are starved for skilled forwards.

Elias, on the other hand, can justify his contract with is 'model of consistency' style which has survived constant turnover since the 2001 season. It really never mattered who he played with. He was part of the best line in hockey with Arnott/Sykora at one point, but then there were times when he still produced with the likes of... it pains even me to write this... Tom Chorske. If he is traded, NJ fans will be gutted until Kovalchuk and co. win the Atlantic in 2011, capped with Kovalchuk being the first Devil to crack 100 points in a season.

Also in the mix apparently were the Kings. This never made sense to me since they have what will soon be the very best Defense in the NHL all in either entry or RFA contracts. They are going to need all the cap flexibility they can manage going forward, and even then they will need even more cap room to deal for forwards. It does not at this point seem that a deal between LA and Kovalchuk is likely. Enter the would be vulture:

What has happened as a result of the Kings' part of the equation is that somehow Philadelphia though that if a team lost the Kovalchuk war, a good consolation prize would be winger Simon Gagne, 30. He has already been approached about and has apparently agreed to waive his No Trade Clause, thereby ruining the relationship he had with management.

Giving a player a No Trade says "we are committed to you. We are going to spare you the speculation and critique that goes along with not having a NTC; you are part of our integral core, and represent the franchise, etc etc". Being asked to waive it causes all those warm sentimental things to evaporate. This pleases me because it is Philadelphia. They have attempted for a long time to replicate the NY Ranger business model, and it turns out that their fortunes are roughly the same. This isn't quite the same as when the Rangers shipped Brian Leetch to Toronto in 2004, but it is similarly vile from the standpoint of denying a player their loyalties despite a contract. The Flyers, going forward, appear only to be loyal to players currently under contract in Nashville.

Garth Snow and the New York Islanders were also 'in on' the Kovalchuk thing. I don't understand them since they are still paying Alexie Yashin. Garth pioneered the extreme long term contract with Rick DiPietro, and that didn't work out either. No, nothing they do seems to work out. They need some more contracts to reach the cap floor, but if they went with Kovalchuk, it would be for all the wrong reasons - which is precisely why they were in on it. The Isles also drafted spiraling Russian talent Kiril Kabanov, a player who needs to be in a system capable of developing a player into an NHL player, something the Islanders cannot do, as is evident in their recent decline to tender RFA qualifying offers to Bergenheim and Tambellini. To summarize: NY Islanders need contracts to reach cap floor. Bergenheim and Tambellini were RFA, and could have been useful if only to reach said floor, but, were so poorly developed that they were let go. Massive offer made for Kovalchuk, who probably needed several tissues to wipe the tears off of his face. Garth Snow currently 3/4 of the way through a double meatball hero sandwich.

The Rangers have about 7.9M in cap space to figure out how they can trade everyone they have signed in the past 2-3 seasons and replace them with newer-smelling bad signings. They have a bad defense complete with a couple of the worst contracts in the history of the NHL in Redden and Rozsival, with limited No Trades. That may be the good news as the other 2 roster defensemen, Del Zotto and Matt Gilroy, should be developing in the minors, not getting hung out to dry under the very harsh NY lights. Marc Staal is apparently holding out, but it isn't as if they weren't going to trade him for a player some other team has developed anyway. To NY, the other teams exist only to draft and develop players so that they may one day become fine Rangers. That is what the NHL is to them; teams who have players deemed good enough to be a Ranger, and the teams who are in direct competition to sign them. It is good to see it not working out.

Finally in the division, Pittsburgh. They will show up in October with 3 Selke-caliber centers, a couple of perennial MVP candidates, a Championship goalie who is 25, and a recently assembled core of defenders, none of whom are 30 yet, that look like they aren't going to play nice. The quality at the wing position.. it would be generous to call it average, but a team has to have weakness somewhere, and wing is it if you're building a team from scratch (do you understand that yet, Washington?). Their ~2M in cap space is nothing. The Penguins can't even sign Paul Kariya. Still, even though the Penguins cannot sign Ilya Kovalchuk, the destruction he has caused to the other teams who have tied their fates in one way or another to him could work in their favor.

I still Hate New Jersey

You know what I think is a sign that society is doomed? All these shows about the plankton who come from New Jersey to turn whatever place they're haunting into the back room at The Go Go Rama. New Jersey is responsible for this, and I demand that they set up an escrow fund for $USD20,000,000.00 for damages resulting from its citizens. Also, the notion that Newark is in some kind of Newark renaissance.

I used to think the new haircut guy was funny, but he's acting. It spawned a bunch of knock-off new haircut guys (My favorite is the Irish guy), but now its all been reciprocal-lampooned by the escape from Jersey reality rash. New Jersey instituted the dead-puck era in the NHL, and aside from the business model of the Rangers is the biggest threat to hockey. The more I think about it, the more they are ruining everything present-day. I hate New Jersey.

has it really been...

Wow. HJanuary 2009. I haven't kept up, now have I?

What did we miss? Luongo still sucks, Thornton is a he-bride. Vokoun still deserves better.

I don't know what else really caught my attention. Oh, we won the Cup. There's that. I cannot express in English how long ago that seems.

Philly got Pronger. That seems like it worked because they improbably reached the SCF. It isn't going to seem like it worked all that well as early as next year, and I can't wait.

The salary cap is now just shy of $60M. This is sickening. Also sickening is the new way to Ranger-it, trading for the 'rights' to a pending UFA. I hope Dan Hamhuis thanks Philly for their interest and quietly signs in Anaheim, because I wouldn't want to be treated like an RFA as a veteran player. I also don't think its healthy for one team (Philly) to obviously and consistently absorb the core of another team (Nashville) as though there's no AHL. It makes trhe NHL look Mickey Mouse.

The only other thing that I can think to touch on is that Marty Brodeur sucks now against everyone except the Penguins.

Oh, and Versus, or OLN, or whatever the hell it is and their Vegas awards shows. What was that? Who thought: "Ok, after the Selke is awarded, lets move into a Beatles homage with Cirque du Soleil". Everyone responsible for that should be 'reassigned within the organization'. The bad music, the inability to pronounce NHLer's names at events where they're nominated for prestigious awards, the E list celebs, many of whom are only known to those who watch programming on Versus.

If the NHL is serious about promoting the game, promote the game on a respectable network with respectable personalities. Using obscure, token celebs from Canada on the bull riding network is a further indication of the second-class status of the NHL brand. Pay ESPN2 to host the NHL. Pay them whatever they want or suffer the instant discredit of poor brand representation indefinitely, because the assholes playing poker on ESPN2 are bigger celebrities than at the NHL awards.

So, look

I don't need to tell you that there are reasons for things. Nobody knows how to lug the puck and set up the PP? Really, Ryan Whitney? Whats with your 10% success rate of keeping the puck in? 

Miroslav.. you took a shift last night that consisted of jumping over the boards, putting yourself offsides (Penguins turn the puck over, it goes deep), proceed to backcheck at "Jamie Pushor" speed through centre ice, gliding to the left corner whereupon you leaned on a guy a little bit, then you skated across the goal and went to the bench.  

I could point the finger here or there on the ice, but I only have one question at this point; and after yesterday's loss, I doubt I need mention you, my appreciated reader, need be deadly serious with yourself when asking.

When was the last time you thought to yourself: "The Pens won that hockey game because we outcoached them"? When is the last time, if at all, you heard an analyst attribute a Penguins victory to Therrien and Co. out-thinking, out-matching, and out-coaching? The question is:

With the players we have, at this stage in their careers, I demand that the answer at least be "occasionally". 

Islanders Perish in a Horrific Fashion

My Boss is an Isles fan, claims he doesn't really care (as would I after the 1990s and 2000s), and I may push him to the point where I am unemployed regarding last night's brutal drubbing. Garth Slow is trying to rebuild a team that, for all intents and purposes, has been terrible for twenty-three  years. 

All I'm going to say is: we lost a lot of hockey games in the beginning of this decade, made the right moves, drafted well, and now we're on the other end of a rebuild. Everyone acts like Sid just phones the Commissioner when times are hard, or that we're just lucky assholes who won the draft lottery, so now we have a good team. Get real, haters. If we hadn't drafted the good mid-round players we did, we would be like any of the contending minor league teams who have a few NHL first line players. From 1994-5 to 2000-01, NY missed the playoffs and proceeded to make draft picks like these;

9th overall, Brett Lindros. Hahahahahahahaaa in 1994.

95, Wade Redden, 2nd overall. Is this a joke? 

1996. 3rd overall pick = Jean-Pierre Dumont. 

97, they get it right, but we all know what happened. 4th and 5th overall, Luongo and Eric Brewer. 

Then... then in 98.... the Islanders, with the 9th overall pick select... select Michael Rupp. 

So what I'm trying to say is, they drafted poorly, made the wrong moves, and right now the Islanders should have a winning core they drafted in those lean years... Instead, they tried to Ranger™ it, got Yashin, let Chara go, drafting more poorly (Yo, Raffi Torres 5th overall?).... I understand my Boss a lot better now. Oh, yeah... they brought in Mike Peca, and Trevor Linden. And they wore those jerseys with the Gorton's mascot.... 

The, finally, you have this group. They had to buy a new first line, because they didn't have one. They can't support that first line with the mid-tier picks they made (Nilsson, Nokelainen, Bergenheim).... and who the hell is Ryan O'Marra? Signing DiPietro to that deal was a good one, too. Now we have, from the looks of it, 13+ more years of him dropping F-Bombs at League events. 

Here's a sample of one summer's work in the offices on the Island:

67 Million Dollar Contract for a goalie who's been injured long term seemingly once a season.

Sign Brendan Witt and Tom Poti. 

Try to make up for signing Brendan Witt and Tom Poti by signing Mike Sillinger.

In an attempt to distract the fans fron all the bad signings, sign Chris Simon.

The fruits of all that labor were all the goals against to the Sabres in the only playoff appearance since the lockout. To recap, that's 13 seasons, 5 playoff appearances, and 5 losses in the Quarters. 

Go Pens.

Penguins Destroy Carolina

Things couldn't have gone any better tonight for Pittsburgh. After blowing a good lead in NY last night, The Pens outgunned a hapless Southeast team and immediately got back to winning hockey games. I was impressed with the play of Danny Sabourin especially, as he made several saves after committing to the shot, scrambling to throw this limb or that at the disc. He was somehow credited with a giveaway by the statistician... It was otherwise a status quo evening for Sid, tallying 4 points and generally being unstoppable. 

Malkin came out in the first minute and hit the crossbar. He finished the game with 2 assists and continues to lead the NHL in scoring. He also apparently bought himself a house somewhere in Pittsburgh and is gaining confidence in speaking English. I remember reading that it "really takes two or three years" to adjust to North America for European players, according to Slava Fetisov. He also was nailed with a ridiculous tripping minor which prompted the Carolina color guy to say "That's what would make me choose Crosby over Malkin"... Unless of course you have both locked into long-term contracts and they're either laying down roots or living with a certain legend who happens to own a killer wine cellar. 

Peter Sykora has never scored a hat trick in his career, and he again finished with a brace tonight. He had an opportunity to score essentially into an open net but Joe Corvo got a stick check to connect, thwarting Syko. His wrister was a thing of beauty, floating inevitably into the far corner against the grain. The second goal was pretty much exactly how Miro Satan scored; a slick reverse-toe drag around Carolina goalie Michael Leighton's butterfly and into the traffic crashing the net. 

Ruuuuuslan Fedotenko scored an NHL 09 goal where the goalie drops the puck and you poke-check it in, only Fedo went naked skeleton on Leighton and, with a sweep check, sent renewed Carolina coach Paul Maurice into cardiac arrest. 

Then there was former Penguin Jo Melichar. You know, every so often a Pens defender suddenly and inexplicably sours. It happened to Brad Werenka, it happened to Hans Jonsson. It certainly happened to Melichar, who, when faced with the most bizarre and puzzling back pass from a changing teammate, found himself watching Sid and Pascal Dupuis take off with the puck alone on goal. I audibly said "What the hell are they doing" before celebrating the assured goal. 

Did Pesonen touch the puck at all tonight? I seem to remember him getting run over and taking off for the attacking zone too soon a few times, and little else. He clearly has good hands and instincts, so I'm pulling for him to find some rhythm and impose himself on the game in Ottawa.

I then quickly checked out the Red Wings game. They were quite busy scoring many goals on Vancouver and displaying incredible scoring depth. Since the jersey numbers aren't all that sharp, I kept confusing Wings' depth guys with All-Stars. Tomas Kopecky? Who the hell is that? I thought it was Hossa several times, as he wears #82 and looks the shit. 

I am in the San Jose market, so I flipped that game on. These guys think Joe Thornton is the best player in the NHL, and they've a right to their opinion. Joe is finally driving the net under their new coach instead of watching all those passes from the corner. He proceeded to bat a puck into the net out of the air for the winner. Nabokov is stellar. He challenges roughly 3 feet out from the crease, but is capable of making reaction saves like Leafs-era CuJo. San Jose has some impressive depth at forward, and they're all gigantic. They allow room for little worms like Roenick to cruise into the slot and roof PP goals, and their defence occupies the #2, 3, 11, and 12th spots on the scoring list. They're undefeated at home, rock a 22-3-1 record, and the goal difference is staggering. 100 scored, 61 allowed. They're 26 games into the season.

We've alternated wins and losses for some 9 games, so lets go to Ottawa and embarrass them. Heatley is going to score on us, he always does, but otherwise I think its a good idea to hit them mercilessly and play an ugly road game. If Ottawa turns the puck over like Carolina did (and they will), I expect to be in control of the game roughly half way through. I can only hope for more vintage Spezza no-look saucer passes. Go Pens.

I hate New Jersey

New Jersey is home to some of the most asinine, axe body spray wearing, track suit sporting, dual chain rockin, primped goatee growin, surly inbred psychos in the civilized world. The ocean waters, they burn the flesh. Everything has that "asshole" feel to it. One also has to be aware of their surroundings, as there are a ubiquity of places to dump a corpse in a State composed entirely of bogs. It stinks, and it has always been intriguing that there is an assumed massive superiority complex. New York dumps its trash in New Jersey, and uses it to sometimes escape taxation. 

Those who work in NYC proper whom do not live in the State live in Connecticut. The Madison Ave types don't like New Jersey because they do not like scraping feces off of their shoes. Even though the mayor of Newark, home of the Devils (12-7-2), has been trying to play the city up from its obvious role as the "Le Mans of the West, only with more gun crime", although Newark more closely resembles its' confirmed Sister City in China, Xuzhou.

You see, valued reader, Xuzhou is a formerly nice placed located in an historic piece of its Country's northern region. The climate often features long hot summers, cold winters, and Government corruption. Like Newark, its' once fertile soil has been rendered barren by its inhabitants. 

Xuzhou was the final front in the "Huaihai Campaign" in the 1940s, the Civil War that accounts for some of the city's numerous mass graves. Similarly, Newark was the central front in the under reported "Gittdafuk Merked" killings in the late 1980s and early to mid 1990s, whereupon as many as 200,000 wiggas were slain as a social plea for the casement of "dumb white mothafuckaz assuming the African character in a deceptive manner, and shit". Of course, many other mass graves exist for many other reasons in both cities, but I found these similarities interesting. Indeed, much is held in common between Newark and the other industrialized Nations' contenders for "most dangerous City". 

The Devils are like a virus you catch a few times every year. They make you sputter, kick your ass, and in the end you overcome the ordeal and move on. You dread the symptoms, such as a wheezing cough (Zajac), runny nose (Parise), and of course, diarrhea (Elias). O, how I dispise what they represent, and handly beating them would be most savory. 

What will Therrien do? Will he play into the line match some more and have his team struggle to reach 20 shots? What does he plan on doing with Fedotenko? You see, I believe writing is an art, and that good art poses questions as opposed to providing answers. 

I want to know a few things regarding some of our Penguins, such as why they aren't forcing Pascal Dupuis and Miro Satan to use sticks that match their skating posture. Why are there 2 righty D men on one PP and none on the other? Why bother to acquire said d-man if your coach is indeed too stupid to realize what the intention was? Does Lou Lamoriello know the location of the body of Jimmy Hoffa? 

I would also like to know what response Penguins fans have given that NJ isn't tanking horribly after Brodeur's injury. Imagine Brodeur were a Penguin; Clemmensen is 4-2-0 with a .917% and 2.48 GAA. Brodeur was playing at a 6-2-2, 2.16, and .916 level pre-injury. In Pittsburgh, there would have been a "But he's winning" argument, imagining a trade-Brodeur-for-theoretical-Winger scenario. 

I can't imagine what Penguins fans were thinking. On one hand, Fleury has been injured for some time now, and he's still among the league leaders in Wins. Hell, only Lundqvist and Tim Thomas have been more effective given the number of games started. Think back to the recent past, and you have what was before Fleury: Assistant GM under Craig Patrick, Jim Beam, securing the services of the journeymen and unknowns of the world, the Tugnutt and Hedbergs, to haphazardly start playoff games. Is this really what certain Penguins fans prefer? At this time I would like to point out that Ryan Malone has just as many goals as Mark Recchi hahahahahaha.

Anyway, Penguins fans, tonight is a bounce-back opportunity for our boys. We're going to catch a NJ team at home, which may help us out during the tedium of breaking the dreaded road trap. No Rolston, Brodeur, Holik, or Ghost of Randy McCay. We still have to deal with some consistent Penguin killers, namely Madden and Langenbrunner, but I think we can pull this one out via a 4-2 score. 

Finally, I have to mention something that bothers me: the current standings system and the shootout. I don't have a problem with ties so long as it doesn't create a fifth column in the standings. Teams who end up tied don't deserve, in my opinion, the same amount of points as a team who wins on a given night. There are two remedies; create a new standings system in which a victorious team recieves 3 points for a regulation win. Teams who tie then split the points (1 apice) or win the additional point in OT, but still do not match the point total of the teams victorious in regulation. 

I don't like that. 3 point games, that isn't hockey. I propose simply bringing back the tie after an OT session. I don't mind 5 minutes of 4-0n-4. 

I would like to see the shootout eliminated. The Penalty Shot, at one time, was the most exciting play in all of sports. Now, it is a bland novelty where fans beg such questions as "Will he try that same move again?", or "Did Hartnell just dump it in the corner and run the goalie?".

The Penalty shot was exciting due to its' scarcity, but like the Winter Classic concept, the NHL has similarly overexposed it in an immediate fashion. Not only do I personally not like the shootout, but I don't like the NHL abandoning one of the primary rules of economics: Do not in any way devalue your own product. Scarcity, artificial or otherwise, is a good thing. Its why winning a Gold Medal at the Olympic Games remains special, and why the World is bored of shootouts. Otherwise, see you at the big Nashville vs. Columbus outdoor classic coming our way very soon, I'm sure, which will take place immediately after the Toronto-Buffalo-Assholes Talking To Their Friends Who Couldn't Get Tickets The Whole Game Standing Facing The Camera Bowl. Go Pens.

Pain, Regret, and Reaction

Therrien's reaction to the loss: "They didn't work, its that simple". The problem is that he actually believes in such truly archaic "strategy". Its the old "square peg, round hole" quagmire. It means that Therrien believes working harder at trying to fit said peg into the hole will ultimately make a difference. It isn't a plan, its a liability. Maybe it is that simple to Mike; then again, not everyone is a blunt instrument.

It is easy to forget how insurmountable playing against Brodeur can be. If they trap, you dump. You dump, he plays it. He plays it clean to some asshole like Colin White, or he plays it to an area where its a 75-25 puck for a Devils forward. That's where you need to get creative with how you dump the puck, timing the forecheck, zone entry, and owning the half boards. Any of those things would have been a nice adjustment. 

We take away the half boards, especially on Brodeur's forehand, maybe we hold the zone more than twice during the final two periods. 

Perhaps we take a page out of Colorado's book when they beat NJ in the Cup Finals; the hard-around. Brodeur couldn't field it cleanly. It must have been agonizing for him to watch the disc sail around the glass. 

Here's an idea; use the dummy play. The two-line pass is legal now, so station a Penguin RW somewhere in the middle of the ice on the NJ blue line. Mix up the breakout by letting a defenseman blast the puck at said RW from deep in our zone. The RW gets a piece of the puck, negating the icing while getting the puck into the NJ end in a real hurry. The play is timed with the weak side forward, the C, entering the zone to pressure the assholes, New Jersey. Its similar to the hard-around in that Brodeur wouldn't have any idea where the puck was going and, hence, couldn't time leaving the crease to play it. The LW takes a Devil or two to the slot, just deep enough to peel out in case of a turnover. The "dummy" RW goes to the weak half-boards, taking away the soft dump of the NJ defender, helplessly trying to reverse the puck to the defender whom is covering the LW charging the net. 

The dummy play uses the very tendencies of trapping teams against them to create what the work so hard to deprive; odd-man situations. If you time it right, at the very least you're playing one-on-one. With Centres like Pittsburgh's, that's a match-up I like. Best-case scenario, the RW catches that weak reverse, and the C is waiting for the give-and-go from the strong corner. Maybe the weak point is open? Who knows, but you've gained the zone easily and nobody is trapped in case of a fast breakout by NJ. 

Therrien just doesn't understand this shit. He seems unable to adjust to really obvious tactics. Hard work doesn't make a hockey player able to skate through a brick wall. That is why, Penguins fans, man invented the siege tower, and I suppose Therrien is that dude at the foot of the wall with boiling tar being poured upon him. 

You know what would have been a decent adjustment? The Murphy dump. From our zone, flip the puck 30 feet into the air, over the Devils and into the far end of the neutral zone. Do you recover the puck? You just may. In any event, you aren't turning the puck over in your own end. You're making NJ  compete for the puck every time you gain possession, which for last night would have been a Revelation. 

The thing that kills me -KILLS me- about Therrien, is that the only adjustment he sees fit tot make are juggling the lines. I fail to understand how he can be patient... so damn patient he allowed time to expire last night listlessly playing into the trap... patient enough for that, but so impatient that he feels it necessary to remove Fedotenko from the 1st line. Dude, we're 2 1/2 games intot the year. Are you disappointed there's no chemistry yet? I counted 4 instances where Fedotenko caused a Devil to turn the puck over in their zone in Period #1, so I'm not sure what the hell prompted Mike to demote him. He also wasn't featured on the PP. Mike went with Matt Cooke for some reason... How could Therrien be 4-years-patient with Rob Scuderi, yet not have the trigger finger to wait an entire home-opener to make silly line decisions? 

What I'm trying to say here is that failing to realize you have to make in-game adjustments, playing favorites with Frenchies, and especially explaining to the media that you're not really sure besides work ethic why you lost a tactical battle gets you fired when you have the players we have. Look at Minnesota's roster, or look at Nashville. Look at Boston, watch them play and imagine what it must be like to at least be able to wonder if the adjustment will make a difference. Its almost like Therrien hates transition and only wants to gets shots on net during power plays. 

Before I forget...

If you haven't seen it, you have to watch a San Jose Sharks game. I can't stop thinking about how lethal their PP is. Basically, they use variations of the aforementioned dummy play to gain the zone, and have Marleau and Cheechoo recover the puck. Those two then go to the net. Joe Thornton sets up with the puck in the right corner, just above the circle. 

He then looks out. What does he see? Close to him, set up in the slot slightly to the right of the hash marks is Cheechoo, who scored the other night off a vicious one-timer from this very position. Behind him below the right circle is the still-eye-popping righty one-timer of Rob Blake. Its a real challenge trying to negate Cheechoo and Blake from firing ICBMs at net. It splits the PK enough, and Joe has such a great set of passes, that Dan Boyle, whom owns a pretty dangerous right-handed shot, is set up below the left circle. Anaheim was scrambling thoughtlessly while Giguere was screened, hammered, and beaten repeatedly. The rebounds, especially from Blake's shots, were quickly pounced on by Marleau. His foot speed is perfect for that situation; pressuring the PK and recovering a rebound. It looks unstoppable; check it out. 

Thankfully, we have a woesome and ramshackle bunch, namely the Flyers, coming to town next. That should be a fun game. To me, its a must-win. The fucking Rangers are 4-0 and we have to close ground right now. Washington and Toronto after that... we need to start putting up Ws, and I mean yesterday.

Almost forgot...

Martin Brodeur is going to use a new mask this season. This obviously will result in long, often inexplicable losing streaks and misfortune. Its nothing exciting, either, although it doesn't feature any incomplete NJ logos like the old one. There are pictures of it everywhere, all copyrighted, so its up to you. 

Actually, I don't like the mask. Its boring. It should say something more personable to Martin, like "once I retire, this franchise is going to move to Ontario almost right away", not the MB 30 thing. Also, as long as every inch of the Prudential Center is covered in Devils logos like some kind of rip from a Ramada Inn, their lettering around Center Ice should stand out by saying "We're Trying To Quietly Deal With All Those Environmental Concerns So Shove It Up Your Ass". 

Kris Beech... and Standardized Banners.

Right, so Kris Beech signed a new deal with the Pens this summer, and now apparently wants out of the deal via refusal to report to the WB/S Baby Penguins. He's been placed on "unconditional waivers", or "fuck you" waivers, and can have his contract terminated should he remain unclaimed and fail to report to The AHL. You know, sometimes having great promise, prototypical NHL size, and a lot of chances are meaningless without commitment and self-discipline. He's not a casualty of the salary cap, he is and will be a casualty of work ethic and attitude. A 27 year old former 7th overall pick who apparently is finished taking a piss in the NHL; Kris Beech. Nice knowing you.

Your friend and mine Dave Morehouse, Penguins Team President, announced that our 12 Art Ross and 5 Hart Trophy recipients will be displayed upon new banners which will be revealed at the home opener on Saturday. The existing banners which display our Stanley Cup, President's Trophy, Conference, and Division Titles will be "standardized", which means one style and color scheme. No word on the Michel Briere Blue and White banner - I assume that one is left alone. I'm guessing the banners are going to be really, really big, because they're going to be getting a lot of additions. Speaking of additions, I suggest some kind of board displaying Pittsburgh's obvious lording over our rivals, especially Washington. 

I live in San Jose's viewership area, so I catch a lot of Sharks hockey. Obviously they have made some splashes, and find themselves without cap room for 6 4', 235er Kyle McLaren. We should attempt to pick him up should he be placed on re-entry waivers. Why is that? Gonchar. 

McLaren has virtually no upside to his offensive abilities, though he has a pretty heavy, low shot. He doesn't have any business being on a PP unit, then again that isn't what we need right now. Gonch was our #1 guy when it came to shutting down the opponent, and now w/o Whitney, we're woefully unable to match against secondary threats. Orpik becomes the #1 guy on this defense now, whoever he plays with, but the drop-off is quite noticeable. 

McLaren brings a real sense of malice to the blueline. He stands out because he rocks that yellow visor, but also because he really destroys people. His scouting reports say things like "tends to put himself out of position" trying to go for big hits, but I disagree. He reads developing plays extremely well, and watches the eyes of the poor bastard he's about to send to the locker room. He does this thing where he points at the open man, and when the puck carrier takes that look out at open ice, Kyle closes in fast and explodes through the check. He isn't afraid to brawl, either. I like that in a guy.

So, just imagine getting a slightly bigger, more experienced Brooks Orpik for 1.25M. He's a UFA after this season, so its a high-reward, low risk pickup, much like Satan and Fedotenko. My guess is that the guy brings it; according to a recent interview in The SJ Mercury in which he says he's dedicated to "show 30 NHL GMs they were wrong" in not initially claiming him, unlike Kris Beech, had no trouble reporting to Wrcester, SJ's AHL team to start working towards returning to the NHL. Therrien would love him, and so would we the instant he lays out Scott Gomez. 

I'm just generally so happy Hockey is back. This blog is going to be more active now that there will be actual content, so lets drop the disc. Go Pens-

Pens in Sverige; Line discussion

I am about 30% Scandinavian. I'm into Scandinavian music and lore, as well as my longstanding belief that the best hockey players come from Sweden. That isn't the same thing as saying "The best player in the world  is  Swedish"; far from it. That title is, of course, touted by either a Canadian or Russian currently gearing up for a game against Jokerit.

Speaking of Scandinavians, I'm really wondering where one Janne Pesonen fits into this Penguins lineup.  Therrien seems to be going with Fedotenko-Sid-Satan as the top unit, one which is hard to argue against given the complimentary archtypes the wings represent, and Staal-Gino-Sykora as the 1A line, which again oozes chemistry and poses a threat every shift. I'm more excited about the Gino line. He and Sykora can read each other's mind. Its very special to have two players who compliment each other so well, but Gino and Staal are scary together. Finding that third guy who isn't just along for the ride is damn near impossible, and I think we may just have it.  Pesonen seems to be the top-six type wing, although it remains to be seen how he plays without the puck in the NHL. 

Also interesting is the fact that we're much more comfortable this season with our depth players. They have clearly defined roles. Placing Staal on the wing eliminates a lot of confusion. Max Talbot becomes the checking line center, who along with Matt Cooke and Pascal Dupuis make for an inredibly fast and aggressive unit. Honestly, I think Talbot and Dupuis are capable of playing LW on most NHL #1 lines. Matt Cooke is going to be great. He's going to be in heavy competition all season with Orps to lead the team in hits, he's going to score between 9 and 14 goals/25 points, and finish with a +/- between +15-20. 

Eric Godard knows. He knows why he's putting on that sweater, taping up those wrists. He's aware that he isn't going to see a regular shift. He understands something that I don't think BG Laraque fully appreciated. He realizes his job is strictly to introduce himself to any opponent guilty of tampering with Penguin superstars. Can he help a line sustain a cycle deep int he offensive zone? Frankly, I don't care. We don't need to find out. What we need is a sheriff, and I believe we've got one. 

Tyler Kennedy recently was signed to a contract extension and he's the #4 Center of the NHL club. This spells the end of Jeff Taffe's chances of remaining with Pittsburgh long-term. Again, it clears up some confusion. 

That leaves a fourth line wing position vacant. Janne Pesonen a fourth line winger? I really don't know. If I'm the coach, I keep Godard at arm's length while double shifting either Sid, Gino, or Staal with Kennedy and Pesonen. Having the fourth line skate with Godard seems more like a liability, even as we're talking about the occasional 40-second shift. Godard should sit between the defence and forwards, keep the bench morale up, and be prepared to fight people. 

Ok, The Rangers are done beating Magnitogorsk, so I'm off. Looking forward to annihilating Jokerit. Go Pens.

Just when I thought...

That Ottawa was exemplifying maximum silliness, they signed Brad Isbister, further signifying, on all fronts, that its all over as true contenders for the foreseeable future. 

Other teams have problems such as "Can Lombardi hang onto the #2 C position?", but not Ottawa. Sometimes, the sense that the clock is ticking on your "window" comes from fans or the local media, but at some point it comes from your teammates and management. I wouldn't call what Bryan Murray does "management", but, as in earlier posts, I wonder if the players themselves are under the impression that commitment to winning (with the best of intentions) are sinking to the bottom of the East wearing Murray's cement shoes. Also, their playoff production involving a lardy pseudo-Roman soldier. 

My Penguins are preparing to once again give every team they face this season a lot of trouble. I want to look at, in this installment, something which I feel will be a strength unusually attributed to Pittsburgh: Penalty killing. 

Fleury obviously is going to be as solid as any starter not playing for NJ this year. I don't care if Canadians will always remember MAF for his shortcomings in the WJC back in the day, the fact of the matter is Pittsburgh has a top-five netminder for the first time since the early 1990s (Before Barrasso could be counted on to pimp his .759 save %). Pierre McGuire can tell you, your best PK has to be in net. 

What is different is that the PK units were extremely effective last season, and with the omissions of Malone and Hossa, look to be improved going forward. I'm not worried about Hossa, basically, because I think the ice time he ate will be taken by one Evgeni Malkin, who's shown himself to be a force shorthanded. Sure, that was international competition, but when are the stakes higher or the teams you face more complete? 

Ryan Malone, on the other hand, as a winger, can be compensated for by a new Penguin, Matt Cooke. Matt Cooke is an outstanding PK forward, both in terms of positioning and tenacity. 

Speaking of tenacity, we have the pair I'm most confident of, Pascal Dupuis and Max Talbot. Dupuis has been a 30-goal man in the past, and while he possesses lips like a lemur, also is extremely fast... and he knows how to use it. Max is Max, a man who should be wearing an A, a man who should be used to check primary or secondary scoring threats. Max is hungry, watching video of top face off men, plenty in the bank to pay the price near the net, and a fan favorite. 

That leaves Jordan Staal, who will probably be playing wing on the #2 line, a somewhat enigmatic figure given his ridiculous performances shorthanded as a rookie. The overall theme with Pittsburgh's PK forwards is the constant presence of shorthanded danger. J Staal plays blueline-to-blueline hockey, and while somewhat mercurial, doesn't have any problem crashing the net. 

I don't expect to see too much Sid on the PK. He'll see plenty of minutes, but I don't think Therrien wants Sid blocking shots and wearing himself down. Sid isn't terribly good at face offs (No Penguin is), so there won't be any draw-dump-changing going on either. That leaves secondary wings to fill that 3rd unit role, the Kennedys and the possibly Stone/Taffe types. 

I'm not aware of any special abilities any of our recent signings' PK abilities aside from Cooke. Pesonen... nobody knows nothin. I think Satan would love him some shorthanded breakaways, but I think he'd be more of a liability. Fedotenko should stick to jumping over the boards and only worrying about 2 things: staying onsides, and staying in the goalie's sightline. That is really all I want from him. He's got a pretty good shot, but I want to see him shelfing rebounds. 

Face offs remain the glaring inconsistency. This is what happens when your centres are 20, 21, 22, and 25. While I wish we would have signed Yannick Perreault to win draws when it matters, especially since PKs start in your zone 100% of the time this season, I'm comfortable with our guys learning themselves. 

The D? The D is the same line up that annihilated the Eastern conference, plus a healthy Mark Eaton. Whitney is out until roughly some team signs Sundin. That's OK. Assuming Andre Savard actually has responsibilities, this gives him a nice NHL look at Goligoski and Kris Letang on the PP. I feel that one of the two is going to be traded, by the way, and it may be Letang since he's a much more sought-after righty... it depends on the plans of one Carl Sneep, the 6-4 200 R prospect from 06, playing at BC this season. 

Darryl Sydor continues to be dangled in trademonger circles, although I'm sure he'll only be deasirable as a means to reach the cap floor. Return? Minimal. 

There is a bit of everything on this seasons' defensive menu. Hal Gill continues to be a light-armor cruiser. Gonch is the same steady scoring threat he's always been, and is coming off a season where denying him Norris candidacy was shocking. Brooks Orpik, on the other hand, is a blunt instrument who seemed really determined to smash forwards into the dasher. 

Eaton and Scuderi, they are the kind of defenders who don't make the spectacular happen, and I don't think you'll see anyone wearing their jersey at the Igloo. The things they do, however, effect the outcome of a hockey game in a big way. Shot-blocking is paramount to PKing, and these guys are outstanding. Scuderi is a typical, hard-working positional stay at home, while Eaton has a bit more intelligence is his arsenal in terms of getting the puck up-ice. Even with Whitney out, we have the capabilities of matching Gill, Scuds, and Orps with complimentary partners in Letang, Sydor, and Gonchar. 

Goligoski? I think many tmes this season we'll be going the 7 D-man route, because having an additional offensive threat from the blueline is preferrable to yet another Chris Minard-Connor James type. At least I hope so, because to ice a line featuring Eric Godard for anything other than attempting to break someone's orbital bone isn't going to get us closer to 2 points. I want to see Goligoski when we're leading a game and on the PP. How he does will determine how long we have 9 NHL-calibur defenders.