Friday, December 12, 2008

Islanders Perish in a Horrific Fashion

My Boss is an Isles fan, claims he doesn't really care (as would I after the 1990s and 2000s), and I may push him to the point where I am unemployed regarding last night's brutal drubbing. Garth Slow is trying to rebuild a team that, for all intents and purposes, has been terrible for twenty-three  years. 

All I'm going to say is: we lost a lot of hockey games in the beginning of this decade, made the right moves, drafted well, and now we're on the other end of a rebuild. Everyone acts like Sid just phones the Commissioner when times are hard, or that we're just lucky assholes who won the draft lottery, so now we have a good team. Get real, haters. If we hadn't drafted the good mid-round players we did, we would be like any of the contending minor league teams who have a few NHL first line players. From 1994-5 to 2000-01, NY missed the playoffs and proceeded to make draft picks like these;

9th overall, Brett Lindros. Hahahahahahahaaa in 1994.

95, Wade Redden, 2nd overall. Is this a joke? 

1996. 3rd overall pick = Jean-Pierre Dumont. 

97, they get it right, but we all know what happened. 4th and 5th overall, Luongo and Eric Brewer. 

Then... then in 98.... the Islanders, with the 9th overall pick select... select Michael Rupp. 

So what I'm trying to say is, they drafted poorly, made the wrong moves, and right now the Islanders should have a winning core they drafted in those lean years... Instead, they tried to Ranger™ it, got Yashin, let Chara go, drafting more poorly (Yo, Raffi Torres 5th overall?).... I understand my Boss a lot better now. Oh, yeah... they brought in Mike Peca, and Trevor Linden. And they wore those jerseys with the Gorton's mascot.... 

The, finally, you have this group. They had to buy a new first line, because they didn't have one. They can't support that first line with the mid-tier picks they made (Nilsson, Nokelainen, Bergenheim).... and who the hell is Ryan O'Marra? Signing DiPietro to that deal was a good one, too. Now we have, from the looks of it, 13+ more years of him dropping F-Bombs at League events. 

Here's a sample of one summer's work in the offices on the Island:

67 Million Dollar Contract for a goalie who's been injured long term seemingly once a season.

Sign Brendan Witt and Tom Poti. 

Try to make up for signing Brendan Witt and Tom Poti by signing Mike Sillinger.

In an attempt to distract the fans fron all the bad signings, sign Chris Simon.

The fruits of all that labor were all the goals against to the Sabres in the only playoff appearance since the lockout. To recap, that's 13 seasons, 5 playoff appearances, and 5 losses in the Quarters. 

Go Pens.

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